Everyone should know how hard times are now. There are thousands of over-qualified people begging for jobs. College graduates who can't use their engineering degree are now working with teenagers in fast food joints. Mechanics are working at Wal-Mart. I'm a Culinary Arts major working in a corporate kitchen (one at the bottom of the barrel, if you know what I mean) because all the positions in the high-class restaurants were all full, so I get to use my degree by throwing pre-made country fried steaks in a deep fryer and flipping pancakes for drunks who want breakfast at 10:45 PM.
At this wonderfully greasy job, I work with a far-right "compassionate conservative." I also work with a lot of dish-washing Haitian people who don't speak much English. The Republican needed a bus tub, so rather than just asking for a bus tub, she tried to get their attention. First of all, she's never bothered to learn any of their names, so she tried tapping on the counter. Yeah, that works in an already-loud dish pit. She then began beating on the counter, cussing and yelling for "a goddamn bus tub" and the one closest to her, genuinely offended, gave her a bus tub. Sure, maybe they don't understand "hey, you fucking voodoo coon, get me a goddamn bus tub!" it was pretty obvious that she wasn't being friendly. She walked away saying "if you're gonna live in this country, learn to speak English!"
I lost it. "Fuck you! Did the pilgrims understand Navajo Indian, or Cherokee, or whatever, when they came over and started taking land? Did anyone speak Native when they gave them polio, raped the women, and forced them to shitty land? Did those Dutch motherfuckers speak African when they turned people into slaves? Hey, do you hate black people? I mean, people who shared your opinion brought them over here."
Her response? "Whatever. It's what I believe." Anyone who uses "whatever" as an argument is an idiot. You have no valid reasoning to back up the bullshit falling out of your mouth.
To anyone who believes this, I fucking dare you to work a day picking fruit, washing dishes, or weeding yards in 100 degree plus weather Then I challenge you to live a week in their countries. I'll be the first to say that I think a lot of minorities are milking it, (but hopefully you can tell I don't side with Nazis, either), but for fuck's sake, how can you say that they're taking your job? They're not working the grill, and you damn sure aren't washing dishes. They know the words that they need to know: Hot, bus tub, hose, behind you, plates, please, and thank you.
Oh, don't forget the fact that unless you're Native American, then you're an immigrant and English might not have been your grandparents' first language, and the only reason English is the predominant language and Christianity is the main religion is because it was forced upon people who were here long before we were.
Second: Having a Jesus tattoo, a nose ring, and a Bible while still bashing gay people and banning books from your "hardcore church" doesn't make you a cool Christian. It makes you a dick with a nose ring.
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Now playing: Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds - The Curse Of Millhaven
via FoxyTunes
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
For the yankees:
Okay, not all the yankees, just the ones that act like wiggers.
Wait, I'm not explaining myself right. Wiggers drive jacked up cars with overblown hydraulics and obnoxious rims while blasting Lil' John from a cheap Wal-Mart woofer while wearing gang colors and flashing signs that are meaningless to them. And if that's not enough, they try to cryp walk. Did I spell that right? I don't know. I'M NOT BLACK. Oh, my point: These kids are scared shitless of black people.
Much like these trendy jackholes from above the Mason/Dixon line find Southern culture "quaint," find our food "delish," and even buy those Goin' South compilations only losers and insomniacs see on TV at 5 in the morning. Oh and you adore the Southern aspect of True Blood. But when it comes to the real South? We're racist, gun-toting cousin fuckers that anyone with half a brain stays away from.
Allow me to give you some advice that's been passed down from the West Virginians in my family: Air freshener in the bathroom still smells like shit. Confused? Let me explain. You're shit. You go ahead and be whatever version of white you want to be, and leave the fried food and twin guitar solos to the pros. You're not gonna hear us talking about how freakin sweet a hard roll with buttah is, so we'd appreciate the same from you.
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Now playing: Bad Religion - Los Angeles Is Burning
via FoxyTunes
Wait, I'm not explaining myself right. Wiggers drive jacked up cars with overblown hydraulics and obnoxious rims while blasting Lil' John from a cheap Wal-Mart woofer while wearing gang colors and flashing signs that are meaningless to them. And if that's not enough, they try to cryp walk. Did I spell that right? I don't know. I'M NOT BLACK. Oh, my point: These kids are scared shitless of black people.
Much like these trendy jackholes from above the Mason/Dixon line find Southern culture "quaint," find our food "delish," and even buy those Goin' South compilations only losers and insomniacs see on TV at 5 in the morning. Oh and you adore the Southern aspect of True Blood. But when it comes to the real South? We're racist, gun-toting cousin fuckers that anyone with half a brain stays away from.
Allow me to give you some advice that's been passed down from the West Virginians in my family: Air freshener in the bathroom still smells like shit. Confused? Let me explain. You're shit. You go ahead and be whatever version of white you want to be, and leave the fried food and twin guitar solos to the pros. You're not gonna hear us talking about how freakin sweet a hard roll with buttah is, so we'd appreciate the same from you.
----------------
Now playing: Bad Religion - Los Angeles Is Burning
via FoxyTunes
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Attention All Southerners
Being born and raised in the South, I have to get a few things off my chest.
First and foremost, To everyone in New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, or anywhere in the Northeast, get over yourselves. We get it. Everyone in the South is a cousin fucker with an IQ lower than that of room temperature. At least we're smart enough to stay here and not move to your part of the country, plant a Confederate flag in the front yard, and piss and moan about how everything was better down South. Go back to New Wherever and choke on a hot dog at Yankee Stadium.
Secondly, since I just mentioned baseball, I have to share my disgust with this waste of time being known as the national pastime. Why would a country that was founded on blood and sweat take so much pride in a sport played by people who are too frightened to play in the rain? Baseball is for bitches, and it's fucking un-American. I played hockey until my knees gave out, and you don't need to point out that hockey is a Canadian sport. Even Canada, as worthless as it is, is responsible for one good thing, and don't say "but what about free healthcare?" because free healthcare is a fucking myth. The point is, we played hockey in the blazing sun, pouring rain, snow, and everything in between. We bled. Hell some of us lost our baby teeth on the concrete rink. All with absolutely no fear of getting our clothes dirty if it rained.
And if you don't like hockey, try football. Ever see a football game get rained out? Check out ESPN every once in awhile for their list of the ten most dangerous football games, in which these guys played in blizzards and hurricanes. There's just as much danger of getting electrocuted on a football field as there is on a baseball diamond.
If you want a much better view on baseball, go hear what George Carlin had to say about it, but if you're too lazy, I'll condense it for you: BASEBALL IS FOR WHINY BITCHES. End of story.
Finally, country music. While ripping CDs and putting downloaded albums into my Zune (Yeah, I'm a high tech redneck), musicians like Shooter Jennings, Reckless Kelly, Cross Canadian Ragweed, Micky & the Motorcars, Handsome Family, and Hank Williams III were all classified as "alt country." What the fuck is alt country? I'm sick and goddamn tired of bullshit pop acts using Mexican-made guitars and Japanese drum machines to play songs written by the same assholes who write for Britney Spears winding up in the top ten on the country charts.
IT AINT COUNTRY. Since when did writing your own songs, working hard to play an instrument (if you think country is easy to play, give chicken-pickin a try, or sit in front of a pedal steel guitar and see how good you really are) and making your music known through relentless touring make a band alternative? This bothers me, because the bands I mentioned are going the way of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, George Jones, David Allen Coe, etc. What is Johnny Cash considered? Is he now an alternative to this top 40 twangy pop bullshit?
III is right - the Grand Ole Opry aint so grand anymore.
----------------
Now playing: Reckless Kelly - Seven Nights In Eire
via FoxyTunes
First and foremost, To everyone in New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, or anywhere in the Northeast, get over yourselves. We get it. Everyone in the South is a cousin fucker with an IQ lower than that of room temperature. At least we're smart enough to stay here and not move to your part of the country, plant a Confederate flag in the front yard, and piss and moan about how everything was better down South. Go back to New Wherever and choke on a hot dog at Yankee Stadium.
Secondly, since I just mentioned baseball, I have to share my disgust with this waste of time being known as the national pastime. Why would a country that was founded on blood and sweat take so much pride in a sport played by people who are too frightened to play in the rain? Baseball is for bitches, and it's fucking un-American. I played hockey until my knees gave out, and you don't need to point out that hockey is a Canadian sport. Even Canada, as worthless as it is, is responsible for one good thing, and don't say "but what about free healthcare?" because free healthcare is a fucking myth. The point is, we played hockey in the blazing sun, pouring rain, snow, and everything in between. We bled. Hell some of us lost our baby teeth on the concrete rink. All with absolutely no fear of getting our clothes dirty if it rained.
And if you don't like hockey, try football. Ever see a football game get rained out? Check out ESPN every once in awhile for their list of the ten most dangerous football games, in which these guys played in blizzards and hurricanes. There's just as much danger of getting electrocuted on a football field as there is on a baseball diamond.
If you want a much better view on baseball, go hear what George Carlin had to say about it, but if you're too lazy, I'll condense it for you: BASEBALL IS FOR WHINY BITCHES. End of story.
Finally, country music. While ripping CDs and putting downloaded albums into my Zune (Yeah, I'm a high tech redneck), musicians like Shooter Jennings, Reckless Kelly, Cross Canadian Ragweed, Micky & the Motorcars, Handsome Family, and Hank Williams III were all classified as "alt country." What the fuck is alt country? I'm sick and goddamn tired of bullshit pop acts using Mexican-made guitars and Japanese drum machines to play songs written by the same assholes who write for Britney Spears winding up in the top ten on the country charts.
IT AINT COUNTRY. Since when did writing your own songs, working hard to play an instrument (if you think country is easy to play, give chicken-pickin a try, or sit in front of a pedal steel guitar and see how good you really are) and making your music known through relentless touring make a band alternative? This bothers me, because the bands I mentioned are going the way of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, George Jones, David Allen Coe, etc. What is Johnny Cash considered? Is he now an alternative to this top 40 twangy pop bullshit?
III is right - the Grand Ole Opry aint so grand anymore.
----------------
Now playing: Reckless Kelly - Seven Nights In Eire
via FoxyTunes
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